It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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