Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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