I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
