My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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