He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
