i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
