Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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