i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
