Porn is love you can see.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
