can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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