Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
