But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
