If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
