Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
