dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
be right there i have to get my cape
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize