i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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