have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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