if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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