Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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