Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
