I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
