Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
