I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
