Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I hope mine doesn't look like that
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
