Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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