Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
