i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
