Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
