well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
