i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
