so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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