please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
