So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
pray to the hookup gods
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
