does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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