wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
