I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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