i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
