The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
