The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize