The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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