you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
