when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
