she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
