Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Randomize
