On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize