I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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