Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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