She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
