Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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