Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
