God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
