Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
