I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
