He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
