I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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