Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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