i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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