She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
