my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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