Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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