the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
