New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
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