Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
They have beer where we have blood.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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