dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
