How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
