omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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