We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
